Simple Wisdom: The Importance of Not Fixating on People
Having expectations of people will stagnate you. You will focus so much on them and what you are hoping from them, that they will only let you down. How can they not? It was you who placed all your hopes and dreams in this one entity. Are their lives solely focused on you? This is an unreasonable expectation, so don’t expect it.
As you are so solely focused on this person, you are denying yourself of the energy of others around you. How can this not lead to stagnation? Your own energy is stuck. It is stuck on this one person who is not evolving in the direction that would be most harmonious to you. Don’t focus too intently your energy on this one person. This person is probably not congruent with your highest and greatest good. Appreciate what there is to appreciate about them, but be mindful that any sense of disharmony or disappointment you may feel is coming from you. They are not projecting this on you. This is your own reaction to an internal feeling of separation.
This sense of separation comes from a hope and a desire you had concerning this other person that in your mind, went unfulfilled. This is not the problem of the other person and should not be projected onto them. Allow them to live their life in accordance with their own highest good. Break free of the stagnation by not holding tightly to a desired outcome from this person. Break free of stagnation by appreciating and showing appreciation for a wide variety of people.
Trust that what you need will come your way. Trust that by spreading your energy around, that it will connect with people who are in your best interest to connect with. Many people have energetic gifts for you. You will find them by not stagnating on one person. You will find them by spreading your energy and not focusing too intently on the one or ones who are clearly elsewhere mentally and spiritually. That is to say, don’t obsess over any one individual person. Don’t give them the power over you to decide if you get to be happy or not. That is ridiculous.
We give people this power over us when we obsess over them, when we decide that we can only be happy, content and in harmony when they meet our conditions. You bring about your own unhappiness when you do this. For this person to live up to your expectations is an impossible demand. How can it not be? Accept and appreciate them, but don’t expect too much. Expecting too much creates disharmony that ripples outward. You create disharmony for both yourself and the other person. Did this other person ask you to obsess over them? Do they want all this from you? Clinging too tightly to an expectation from them will only drive them crazy. Accept reality as it is and move on. — Jim Larsen
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Knowings from The Silence Vol. 2