When you apologize to somebody for some wrong or for some upsetting thing you perpetrated against them, you send the message that they are worthwhile and that their feelings are valid and worthy of consideration. But when you do not apologize, or you straight up tell somebody that they are not worthy of an apology, you are sending them the message that their feelings mean nothing, and therefore they as human beings have little or no value to you.
If you treat somebody this way who does not have a strong sense of their self, you may damage their self esteem and make them doubt their selves even further. This may cause them to never fully achieve their full potential. This is a narcissistic thing to do- to tell somebody they are not worthy of an apology, If somebody says this to you or treats you as though this is what they think of you, take inventory of your own self-worth and do not let the opinion of this person taint what you know about yourself- that you are a decent person with an abundance of positive qualities. This attitude from them is a sign of their own insecurities and pain. — Jim Larsen
Don’t make excuses about why you are not living as successfully as you wish you were. Successful people don’t do that. We visualize what we want to achieve, what we want to be. Then we work towards making that a reality. But what happens is, challenges come our way. We have setbacks. Things hinder us. We get blocked. An unsuccessful person will throw their hands in the air in defeat and say, “It can’t be done.” A successful person, however, will acclimate these setbacks into their overall view and plan and find a suitable alternative and adjustment. They will use them as opportunities to use their creativity to find ways around these obstacles. Success, in a lot of ways, is defined by one’s ability to find solutions to the problems that get in the way of the achievement of our goals without resorting to assigning an excuse to why it cannot be done.
Accept the possibility of failure
One thing that people do is, they use excuses as shields against feelings of inadequacy. People have an idea of what they want to achieve but do not feel as though they have what it takes to do it. They assume they will fail, so rather than set themselves up for a failure, they find the easiest out they can find and they make an excuse. Successful people don’t get that way by looking for these easy outs for a risky venture. They become successful by accepting the possibility of failure and by working hard to prevent it. If they looked for excuses, they would not allow for the possibility of success. Imagine and visualize what it means to you to be successful, then find ways around the obstacles and blocks that stand in your way of it. –Jim Larsen
Sometimes the jealousies of others can cause you to live smaller than you deserve to live. When you are simply doing the things you do, being the person you are meant to be, and shining your light to the world as it is meant to shine, they become jealous because they do not fully appreciate their own positive qualities and cannot get past this comparison that they have with you.
They put you down to feel better about their selves
This triggers them and they lash out at you, trying as they can to keep you down and to dim your light, so they feel better about themselves by comparison. This creates an unhealthy competition that you did not initiate, ask for, or have any desire to participate in. This creates an inharmonious atmosphere, perhaps one of down-right hostility. Because of this, perhaps you have to live less than you otherwise would, shrink down and become smaller in order to maintain peace. You don’t want to trigger this other person, so you do not shine your light quite as brightly as you otherwise would.
You are not meant to live in a box
This isn’t fair to you. It isn’t fair to anybody who may benefit from what you offer to the world through your light and your brilliance, either. So the thing to do is to remind yourself that you are on this earth to radiate your brilliance. You are on the earth to be a large being. Being made small to live in a box to placate this other person does absolutely nobody any good. All that does is placate the ego of that person who feels threatened by you. You will not be doing anybody any favors that way.
Force them out of their comfort zone
The thing to do is keep in mind this person is not in charge of what you do to be the best person you that you are on this earth to be. You have to accept the fact that they will attack, belittle, and try to keep you in your place- but remember- this place they are trying to keep you in is arbitrary and has meaning only to them. It exists only within the realms of their comfort zone. Don’t let that slow you down or diminish you. Force them out of their comfort zone by simply being you.
Let them adjust to you
Be mindful not to attack or belittle them. If you have criticism for them, be sure to phrase it such that it cannot be interpreted as an insult or attack, for they will probably look for anything at all to support their notions of you, no matter what. Do not let the pettiness or jealousies from others keep you from being who and what you are on this planet to be. You be you and let others adjust to that. You owe it to the world to do so. –Jim Larsen
Excuses separates unsuccessful people from successful people. Unsuccessful people make them. Successful people do not.
Excuses separate the strong from the weak. Don’t let circumstances dictate your success or failure. If you can’t change your circumstances, live with them. Acclimate yourself to them if they are sudden or unexpected. Never make excuses why you can’t be the best you know that you are capable of being. If it can’t be changed, either work it in or work around it. If your toe is amputated, be the best you can be without that toe. If your arm was amputated, be the best you can be as an arm amputee. If your spouse walks out on you and leaves you alone, be the best you can be as somebody whose spouse walked out on them.
Don’t make excuses about why you are not living as successfully as you wish you were. Successful people don’t do that. We visualize what we want to achieve, what we want to be. Then we work towards making that a reality. But what happens is, challenges come our way. We have setbacks. Things hinder us. We get blocked.
An unsuccessful person will throw their hands in the air in defeat and say, “It can’t be done.” A successful person, however, will acclimate these setbacks into their overall view and plan and find a suitable alternative and adjustment. They will use them as opportunities to use their creativity to find ways around these obstacles. Success, in a lot of ways, is defined by one’s ability to find solutions to the problems that get in the way of the achievement of our goals without resorting to assigning an excuse to why it cannot be done.
When the going gets tough and obstacles are in your path, don’t view them as the end of the road. View them instead as opportunities to e innovative and creative as you find a way around them to the success you are striving for. — Jim Larsen
The way to bullet proof yourself and be invulnerable to attacks from others is to truly know yourself. When people insult you, when they put you down, when they try to put you in what they perceive to be your place, when you know your real true self, your real true power, your real true authenticity, then what can they do to diminish that? When you know your truth and your self-worth, then anything anybody says to try and diminish that will be pointless. Let it be energy they expend. Don’t let yourself be depleted by their attacks.
And what do I mean by “attacks?” I mean the mean-spirited words they throw at you to keep you down. Somehow, to some people, keeping you from feeling good about who you are, about what your power is and what your accomplishments are, they themselves are elevated. They see you as the competition for some prize or some victory that exists only in their own mind.
But you’re not trying to compete. You’re just doing your own thing, living your own life, pursuing your own talents, ambitions and passions. They see you doing this and their egos tell them that they themselves are lesser somehow because they don’t appreciate their own abilities or feel that other people, maybe even notice or give them credit for what they want to be seen for. So to level the playing field to feel adequate, what do they do? They insult you. They find fault in even the slightest thing they don’t like. They twist your words into something you didn’t mean and throw them back at you.
If you bring up something they did, they will immediately, without even a pause to think it through, say, ‘Well you…” and tell you something you did as if there is no value in knowing the greater lesson to be learned from anything you had to say about them. Their egos tell them that, no! There’s nothing wrong with me! You’re the one with the problem!
These people may even go so far as to tell you that you are not worthy of an apology should you have the audacity to suggest you should have one. They may even say, “Frankly, you’re not worthy of an apology!” Now, why would anybody treat you or anybody that way? Why would they say mean and hurtful things that are not justified and not warranted? Only because they have not mastered their egos yet.
For they themselves to feel worthy, they must make you feel unworthy. It is a very small, very immature, and very unevolved and unenlightened view of things. They feel it is a competition of some kind that either they can win, or you will. So they attack you to keep a competitive edge. But that is not how you see it at all.
You see yourself living your life and following your dreams and passions, and everybody else, including them, as doing the same. You have yours. They have theirs. Everybody has their own, so why compete? You can zoom out and see their actions against you from a wide perspective, how their ego and their jealousy for your success and your confidence is motivating this behavior and not let it bother you. You see it for what it really is. This makes you bulletproof and invulnerable because you are sure enough of yourself because you know your abilities and worth, and nobody can diminish it or take any of it away from you.
When you feel attacked by a narcissist, remember this. They are only doing this to make you feel small to elevate their own position in an imagined competition that you did not ask for. Keep your own self-worth in mind, and deflect these attacks. –Jim Larsen
