Simple Wisdom: Who is She?
She judges her own self-worth by how bad she can make other people feel. This, to her, is power. She measures her own self esteem by how low she can make another feel. Her aim is to make this other person cry. If she can get them to cry, then she feels good about herself. If she can get somebody to cry over her, she feels valued, important. She feels as though she is worth something if she can get people to cry for her.
This of course, is an indication of a deep rooted sadness. This of course is an indicator of a long-held sense of low self-esteem and low self-worth. She will attempt to boost her self esteem by being cold to others, people that she has drawn in and made them feel close. By making them feel cold and distant, she will feel better about herself, because now she feels she is worth feeling bad about to this other person.
Is it worthwhile for this other person to be upset over losing her, or for the thought of losing her? People like this, as unfortunate as it is for them to have this sense of low self-esteem, really are not worth the effort to be close to. Who needs this level and this amount of fickleness in their life? Life is meant to be enjoyed. Happiness is a birthright.
These people will not provide you this happiness. People like this will make you feel distant from your center, and drained of energy. There’s really not much you can do for them as they will always be looking for their next energetic/self-esteem boost at your or somebody else’s expense. Did you ask for their energy drain? Did you sign on to be their martyr? Of course not. Let these people get whatever psychological help they need, but don’t take it upon yourself to heal them or to provide them their fix.
Of course, show them compassion, but stay distant. What’s the point of being used this way? Accept these people for who and what they are. Forgive them for any pain you may have felt because of them, then move on with your life. You will notice these people moving from person to person, indiscriminately getting close, soliciting attention, indiscriminately forming bonds with them, and then quickly moving on from them. There is a sense of constant discontentment about them. Until they choose to get the help they need to heal themselves, they will continue to use people up and toss them aside.
This example was written as a female. It was just an example. It is a gender neutral phenomenon. A “He” is just as likely to play this game.
We do what we can do to help people, but if they are simply resistant to what we offer, what are we supposed to do?
Enoy the Knowings From The Silence: Simple Wisdom For an Enlightened Life Books
Knowings From The Silence: Simple Wisdom For an Enlightened Life, vol. 1
Knowings From The Silence: Simple Wisdom For an Enlightened Life, vol. 2
Knowings From The Silence: Simple Wisdom For an Enlightened Life, vol. 3
Knowings From The Silence: Simple Wisdom For an Enlightened Life, vol. 4